From being head girl at school to living in a hostel, building a charity and finding myself nominated alongside some incredible women. Life has a funny way of taking you places you never imagined.
Well, this is a wired one to write. I’ve been nominated for not one, but TWO Womanifest 2027 Awards – Outstanding Leader and Empowerment Advocate, and while I’m absolutely made up, filling in the nomination forms has made me stop and reflect on things I don’t often stop long enough to think about. Not just Neo, or the last few years, but my whole journey.
How I got here, the people who helped me along the way, the people I’ve lost, the family I’ve built and the community that has become such a huge part of my life, because if you’d told me ten years ago that I’d be writing this, I probably would have laughed at you. Or cried. Possibly both.
From head girl to a hostel
I was head girl at school. I had people around me who believed in me, community leaders who encouraged me and a headteacher who pushed me to achieve things I didn’t always believe I was capable of. I had opportunities, people guiding me and adults who saw potential in me, but life doesn’t always follow the path you think it’s going to. I’ve lived through some really difficult things. Things that changed me, challenged me and at times left me wondering how on earth I was going to get through. I’ve lived in a hostel. I’ve experienced trauma, loss and moments when the future felt frighteningly uncertain.
And I’ve lost my mum. We didn’t have the easiest relationship, and that’s something I’ve had to make peace with in my own way. But I also believe those experiences have helped shape the mum I try to be today. I’m certainly not a perfect parent. I get things wrong, I lose my patience, I probably drive my children absolutely mad and I’m still learning every day. But one thing that’s incredibly important to me is having open, honest relationships with my children. I want them to know they can talk to me, even when the conversation is difficult. I want them to know they can make mistakes, that life won’t always be easy and that they never have to pretend everything is fine when it isn’t. And most importantly, I want them to know they’re loved, supported and never alone. Because I know what it feels like when life isn’t straightforward. And I know how much difference having the right people around you can make.
Blood isn’t everything
If there’s one thing life has taught me, it’s that family isn’t always about blood. Family is about who shows up. Who answers the phone when everything’s gone wrong. Who loves your children like they’re their own. Who tells you when you’re being an idiot, celebrates your wins and stands beside you when things fall apart. I’m incredibly lucky to have some of the fiercest, most loyal and supportive friends anyone could ask for. And somewhere along the way, those friends became family.
My children have probably got at least another ten aunties and uncles who aren’t related to them by blood but who are every bit as important to their lives. People who’ve helped us through difficult times, shared our happiest moments, supported us through trauma and become part of the village that’s helped raise our children. And I genuinely don’t know what we’d do without them.
Then there’s Ken strong family man who believes in looking after the people he loves, and who has stood beside me through all the madness that comes with life, family and Neo, and my mother-in-law. An even stronger woman who loves me, supports me and shouts at me in probably equal amounts! She’s also the woman who once lent me her credit card so I could buy stock to open a little community café. I wonder if she knew what she was letting herself in for! Along with them comes a whole extended family, with all the ups, downs, disagreements, laughter and love that families bring, and I wouldn’t have it any other way, because over the years I’ve learned something really important. You have to find your people. Your pack. The people who make you stronger, who want the best for you, who love your children and who will still be there when things aren’t easy. Sometimes that means learning who belongs in your life and who doesn’t. And that’s okay.
The family you build, the network you create and the village you give your children can be just as important as the family you’re born into.
Maybe even more so.
The community that raised me
Long before Neo existed, I already knew the power of community, as a child, I had trusted adults who believed in me. As a young adult and a mum, I was part of communities where families helped each other survive. We shared food, childcare, skills, clothes, whatever we had. We didn’t have much, but we had each other. Nobody was writing funding applications or measuring outcomes. We were just getting through life together, and looking back, those experiences taught me more about community development than any course, qualification or conference ever could. They taught me that people don’t always need someone to come along and fix their lives. Sometimes they need someone to stand beside them. Someone who believes in them. Someone who gives them a chance. And a community that refuses to let them face everything alone.
Then came Neo
Neo was born after one of the hardest periods of my life. I had a choice about what I did next, although at the time it certainly didn’t feel like much of a choice. I could allow everything I’d been through to define me, or I could try to build something positive from it, and thankfully, I had people around me who gave me the confidence to try.
I remember Ellen Kerr telling me, “Do it yourself.” I remember Roy saying, “If you want to open the café, do it.” And I remember my mother-in-law handing over her credit card so I could get the stock.
No massive investment. No grand business plan. Just a little café, a lot of determination and some people who believed in me. I wanted somewhere people could come together. Somewhere they could share what they had, help each other, feel welcome and build something that belonged to them, not another project that did things to people or for people because somebody somewhere had decided that’s what they needed. Something built with the community.
And the community did what communities do best. They showed up.
They volunteered, shared ideas, brought skills, supported each other and helped build Neo into what it is today. From a small café in the heart of a community to an organisation supporting families, children, young people and adults across Wirral, and we’re still growing. Still learning. Still getting things wrong sometimes. Still trying to do better.
The village doesn’t stop when you become an adult
I think one of the biggest mistakes we make is assuming that once people become adults, they should somehow be able to manage everything themselves. We expect parents to cope. We expect women to be strong. We expect families to juggle work, children, money, relationships and whatever else life throws at them, and when they struggle, we sometimes make them feel like they’ve failed.
But nobody was ever meant to do life alone.
I know I couldn’t have done it without my village. Without friends who became family. Without people who believed in me. Without a husband and extended family who have helped hold everything together. Without the people who challenged me, encouraged me and sometimes gave me a kick up the backside when I needed it, and that’s what I want Neo to be for other people. Not a replacement for family or friendship, but somewhere those relationships can grow. Somewhere people can find their pack. Somewhere a mum who’s struggling can find another mum who understands. Where a young person can find a trusted adult. Where a volunteer can find confidence and purpose. Where people who feel alone can find belonging, because community isn’t just about services. It’s about people.
From being terrified in a room to sharing the nomination list
I still remember going to Merseyside Woman of the Year around ten years ago. I was terrified. I’d never been in a room like that before. I didn’t even really know things like that existed, never mind imagine that one day I might belong in those spaces. I remember feeling completely out of my comfort zone. And now here I am, nominated for two Womanifest Awards, but do you know what’s made me smile the most? Looking at the other names.
Seeing Laura Glover, one of our very own Neo girls, being recognised. That means the world to me. Because watching people around you grow, achieve and be celebrated is one of the greatest things about what we do, and then seeing names like Ellen Kerr, the woman who gave me one of my first platforms to shout about Neo and everything I believed in. Amy Butterworth, Jess Gallier-Booth and so many other incredible women doing amazing things in their own communities.
Women who are passionate, determined, outspoken, supportive and making a difference. To be on a nomination list alongside women like that is something I genuinely never imagined. And it makes me realise just how far life has taken me. Not because I’ve somehow become more important than I was ten years ago. But because I’ve grown in confidence, found my voice and learned that I have just as much right to be in those rooms as anyone else.
I want every woman and young girl to feel that too.
Leadership, empowerment and a lot of getting things wrong
I’m not going to pretend I’ve got leadership all figured out. I haven’t. There are days when I question myself, when the pressure feels enormous and when I wonder whether I’m making the right decisions. Running a charity means being responsible for people’s wages, livelihoods and the communities who rely on us. And sometimes it’s bloody hard, but I’ve learned that leadership isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being willing to listen, learn, take responsibility and keep going. It’s about knowing when to fight, when to compromise and when to admit you’ve got something wrong, and empowerment isn’t about being the strongest person in the room. It’s about helping other people find their strength.
I don’t want to be surrounded by people who agree with everything I say. I want people who challenge me, bring their own ideas, grow in confidence and eventually lead things themselves, because if Neo is going to be everything I believe it can be, it can’t depend on me. It has to belong to the people and communities who make it what it is.
I don’t want to spend my life building crisis services
I’m incredibly proud of what Neo does. The food support, the youth clubs, the community cafés, the family activities, the education, the opportunities and the relationships, but my ambition has never been to build the biggest food bank or crisis service. We want to help build communities where fewer people need those services in the first place. Where children have opportunities. Where families aren’t constantly struggling to survive. Where people have dignity, ownership and a real say in their futures. Where communities have the resources and confidence to create change themselves.
My Churchill Fellowship has given me the opportunity to see how communities in other countries are doing exactly that. And it’s made me even more determined to bring that learning home to Wirral, because I believe the future isn’t about doing more and more for communities. It’s about creating the conditions for communities to do more for themselves and each other.
So, what do these nominations mean?
Of course I’d love to win. Who wouldn’t? I won’t pretend that being recognised doesn’t feel lovely, because it does, but what means the most is the opportunity to celebrate the people who have been part of this journey. My family. My friends. The people who believed in me when I needed it most. Our staff and volunteers. The women who have inspired me. And the communities who have helped build Neo.
Because none of us get anywhere entirely on our own. I certainly didn’t. From being head girl at school to living in a hostel, from losing my mum to building my own family and village, from opening a café with a borrowed credit card to becoming a Churchill Fellow and finding myself nominated for two awards. It’s been one hell of a journey. And I’m still figuring it out. I’m still a mum who gets things wrong. Still a wife, friend and member of a very loud extended family. Still someone who occasionally wonders what on earth she’s doing. And still that stubborn woman who believes things can be better, but I’m also someone who knows just how powerful it is when people believe in you.
Because sometimes the greatest thing you can give someone isn’t money, advice or even an opportunity. It’s the belief that they matter, that they belong and that they don’t have to face the world alone.
That’s what my village gave me. That’s what I hope I’ve helped build through Neo. And that’s what I want to keep passing on. So thank you to whoever nominated me. Thank you to the people who have loved me, challenged me, supported me and occasionally shouted at me! Thank you to everyone who has been part of this mad, beautiful, exhausting journey. Here’s to the women who lift each other up, the families we build, the communities we love and the people who never give up on us, and here’s to remembering that no matter where you started, you never know where life might take you.
From a hostel to the awards. But never, ever on my own.
Ema x
Founder & CEO, Neo Community | Churchill Fellow
